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Poems Litterature Typography by TheForsakenGoddess


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Submitted on
September 11, 2010
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It's amazing how one person can kill your self-confidence
It wasn't so bad
Not until I met you
You built it up
So much so that it was too much to handle
It felt amazing,
But overwhelming
It was the first time that had happened in a long time
It was so strong
I felt as though I could fly
But then…
You destroyed it
The very thing that had been unachievable for years
I finally had it
But you being yourself,
Took it back
It was like stealing candy from a baby
All you had to was grab for it and it would be yours
And that's exactly what you did
Taking full advantage of the fact that I was weak
Please,
If I can't have your friendship,
At least give me my confidence again
About same guy...written a few days ago though. Or else sometime last week. Haven't really had time to upload stuff=\
Last night I had pep-band and he was talking to me though, which made me happy, but it could've been the fact that I was so tripped up on energy drinks that I didn't realize just how much my self-confidence was actually affected. I still miss him, even though he sometimes talks to me. I just don't know if he considers me a friend or what...

Comments.Critique much appreciated. Any kind...seriously
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:iconrollingtomorrow:
RollingTomorrow Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2011   General Artist
Thank you for submitting to the Critique Folder at :iconwriters--club:! :la:

It's been said that despair is one of the writer's greatest drives for writing; in my opinion, the troubles we all face in relationships can walk side by side with that phrase, and even stand beside it as a secondary reason for why many of us write.

This poem had an informal feeling, but it was still a good write. I feel that the tone of the narration made the poem feel more realistic and easy to relate to for the readers. Good work!


=TheFinalHikari
Founder of #Writers--club and #LandoftheSky
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:icontiffersinger:
Tiffersinger Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2010  Hobbyist Photographer
I can relate so much to this. But in a different situation.

Well Written, Well Worded, Well Placed Emotions, Well Done!
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:iconfullmetalfan849:
Fullmetalfan849 Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2010  Student Photographer
:iconiknowrightplz:
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:iconxexistence:
xExistence Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Wow. This is nice :)
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:iconspectersnake:
SPECTERSnake Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2010
I lost my old, friend. I'm tryin to see If I can revive our friendship
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:iconspectersnake:
SPECTERSnake Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2010
THis is GREAT I can relate to this MAJORLY
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:iconxxxvexenxxx:
XxXVexenXxX Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2010  Hobbyist Photographer
:( I know exactly how you feel....
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:iconerikasancheza:
ErikaSanchezA Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2010  Student Traditional Artist
dude i know exactly how you feel but i really lost him for good.
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:iconseriesartiststarter:
SeriesArtiststarter Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2010
:cry: :crying: :upset: Oh man....This one really speaks to me......Oh god why.....Why...........Anyways You did great on this peice you really truely did.....Its so powerfully felt through these words that you play these as though on harps and it all happens in a rymthical way....I really know how that feels like you know. to be the one to do it and the one to recieve it.....Its just so terrible that im seriously in guilthy shameful tears here
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:iconkairo09:
Kairo09 Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2010
This is really good,
I think alot of people can relate to it.
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