literature

Simply Tortured

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KoujiIsMine's avatar
By
Published:
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Literature Text

My smile is just a smile
It holds no true emotion behind it
It's an act,
So that everyone will leave me alone
I wish I could cry,
Cry in front of everyone,
But I can't.
I know that
I always have
I always will
I can't show them just how bad it is
How badly I need treatment
How badly I need SOME sort of help...
But how will they understand?
They won't
They never have
Never will
They said I didn't need meds
But that was just because of an act
They don't know how I feel underneath
How dead I feel
How dead I've felt
I cry
Everyday
If not physically,
Then mentally
I don't choose to
But I do
It's beyond my control
How I wish it wasn't
I can't go on like this
Feeling complete hopelessness
I told myself I wouldn't let it get this bad
I wouldn't let you affect me that badly
But it's worse
I see you
I still talk to you
It's putting me through torture
Torture that I can't bear
It's putting the daily smile on my face
But it will forever be,
Simply tortured
Was talking to my friend. Helped a LOT. Then this came. I knew I had to write. I didn't know what. He was still talking to me, but I just brought up Word and started typing. I don't even know what I wrote. That's not a joke. All I know is when I was scrolling through it catching glimpses I started crying and I was crying the entire time I was writing it. Except the ending, which I don't really like.

Comments.Critique much appreciated! Any kind...seriously
Comments14
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firenationgal's avatar
This really struck a chord with me too. If my mother wasn't in the room.. I'd be in the same position. =/